Two men one approximately 20m in front of the other, dressing identically, walking backwards, with a morose look upon there faces. There skill at not bumping into anyone (rare in China) and the severity of their faces leads me to believe this was not a one off venture.
Speaking of bumping into people Lucia and i played a game today where we tried to get the subway somewhere, without touching a single human being. It lasted barely a minute, we didn't make it anywhere near the subway. And we were leaping left and right with the agility of elves or monkeys.
Monkeys. I saw about five hundred (not really) monkeys in the zoo the other day. There was a sign that said, "Please don't feed the monkeys, it makes them sick." I can only assume that the Chinese translation went something along the lines of, "Please feed the monkeys, it's funny," judging, that is, by the amount of people feeding them with glee. Or maybe even "Please feed the monkeys, it's funny, especially shoes." Because there were at least three shoes in there (really- and they didn't match), being chewed on by the monkeys.
Monkeys and Pandas. I saw Giant Pandas for the first time in my life. It was vaguely satisfying, but i couldn't escape the uncomfortable thought that this was not a Panda at all. But in fact a fat man in a Panda suit, in a cage, through some kind of perversion.
Got my hair cut the other day for 80p. Can't complain. That was my second ever time in a hairdressers, my friend recommended a place. There are some very very dodgy hairdressers, with suspiciously under used equipment and supeciously over dressed hairdressers - we're not talking evening wear here. Maybe i should say underdressed. I don't know. Very dodgy anyway.
Ran over a cyclist today in a car; he was alright, mostly they are. Nearly got run over by a van too. It had to skid, that was new.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Friday, March 03, 2006
Parklife
It's all about your joggers who go round and round and round.
And lots of old people doing very odd things.
There are loads of parks in Beijing. They all cost less than fifty pence to get into and house a veritable menagerie of oriental delights. For example the Pagoda, the Rockery and the Outdoor Gymnasium. What, Outdoor Gym? That's right. At first glance an unsuspecting westerner would suppose the apparatus to be some kind of children's play park, brightly coloured as it is, surrounded by rubber flooring for all those little fumbles, falls and trips. However momentarily you will notice that these are not children at all (or very ugly, wrinkely children), but full grown adults.
Now your average frequenter of a British park would not be given to labourious exercise. Aside from the joggers, most care to do little more than the odd stretch to feed that poor little duck at the back who doesn't seem to be getting any. Not so in China. Elderly men and women, all be it quite half assed with a fag hanging out of their mouths, are truly exercising. It does hold the gaze (which in China also isn't rude. If i wanted too i could march right up to some old man, stand over him and shout "ji se te" all i wanted, it still wouldn't be rude. Like the man beside me slurpping his noodles - not rude or the man in the park farting very very loudly, but thankfully not so close to me - still still not rude) .
But your gaze will quickly be diverted by some loud, consistent and multiple chanting. Forty or so women and two men, one seemingly quite drunk, doing some form of Aerobics. No not Aerobics, dance. No that's not right, Ti Chi. No, way too militant for Ti Chi. They're doing something anyway, involving shouting and digging your thumbs into your back as if you were a doctor making some kind of incision. The drunk guy could do it all with his eyes closed. He didn't need to look at the intense young lady with loads of makeup on, and i suspect though i was nowhere near close enough, lipstick on her teeth, who was leading the whole affair. I walked off, suddenly suspecting it was purely something they do for kicks when an unsuspecting white guy walks by.
Parks are where Chinese people come to get away with doing whatever the heck they want. Middle aged men fly kites for hours, couples kiss, people drink a lot of tea from large flasks. Today a lady, without provocation sreamed, or rather shrieked at a tree she was passing. It didn't reply, as it appeared she was expecting. Her husband didn't bat an eyelid. I saw a man delight himself by swinging his arms around like he was being attacked by a swarm of bees that only he could see. Frequently men break into song, operatic song. There's the odd tree caressing. A man today appeared to be impersonating a bull with an itch against a tree trunk. (The trees are all carefully labelled and photos are taken which are displayed in "foyer" of the park. Presumably it's for those who want to see the trees, but don't have the time to actually have a walk around.)
And of course there are the joggers who go round and round and round....
...wearing suits. The Chinese it seems don't change for exercise. On the way home from work, pop into the park, couple of dashes round in the style of British-man-trying-to-catch-bus and your're good.
And lots of old people doing very odd things.
There are loads of parks in Beijing. They all cost less than fifty pence to get into and house a veritable menagerie of oriental delights. For example the Pagoda, the Rockery and the Outdoor Gymnasium. What, Outdoor Gym? That's right. At first glance an unsuspecting westerner would suppose the apparatus to be some kind of children's play park, brightly coloured as it is, surrounded by rubber flooring for all those little fumbles, falls and trips. However momentarily you will notice that these are not children at all (or very ugly, wrinkely children), but full grown adults.
Now your average frequenter of a British park would not be given to labourious exercise. Aside from the joggers, most care to do little more than the odd stretch to feed that poor little duck at the back who doesn't seem to be getting any. Not so in China. Elderly men and women, all be it quite half assed with a fag hanging out of their mouths, are truly exercising. It does hold the gaze (which in China also isn't rude. If i wanted too i could march right up to some old man, stand over him and shout "ji se te" all i wanted, it still wouldn't be rude. Like the man beside me slurpping his noodles - not rude or the man in the park farting very very loudly, but thankfully not so close to me - still still not rude) .
But your gaze will quickly be diverted by some loud, consistent and multiple chanting. Forty or so women and two men, one seemingly quite drunk, doing some form of Aerobics. No not Aerobics, dance. No that's not right, Ti Chi. No, way too militant for Ti Chi. They're doing something anyway, involving shouting and digging your thumbs into your back as if you were a doctor making some kind of incision. The drunk guy could do it all with his eyes closed. He didn't need to look at the intense young lady with loads of makeup on, and i suspect though i was nowhere near close enough, lipstick on her teeth, who was leading the whole affair. I walked off, suddenly suspecting it was purely something they do for kicks when an unsuspecting white guy walks by.
Parks are where Chinese people come to get away with doing whatever the heck they want. Middle aged men fly kites for hours, couples kiss, people drink a lot of tea from large flasks. Today a lady, without provocation sreamed, or rather shrieked at a tree she was passing. It didn't reply, as it appeared she was expecting. Her husband didn't bat an eyelid. I saw a man delight himself by swinging his arms around like he was being attacked by a swarm of bees that only he could see. Frequently men break into song, operatic song. There's the odd tree caressing. A man today appeared to be impersonating a bull with an itch against a tree trunk. (The trees are all carefully labelled and photos are taken which are displayed in "foyer" of the park. Presumably it's for those who want to see the trees, but don't have the time to actually have a walk around.)
And of course there are the joggers who go round and round and round....
...wearing suits. The Chinese it seems don't change for exercise. On the way home from work, pop into the park, couple of dashes round in the style of British-man-trying-to-catch-bus and your're good.
more info
Copy of the email lucia sent:
The yellow thing, on the right, well something very like it, something pretty much identical, has been living under my skin, on that little red area I asked you to inspect, for the last 6 weeks or more.?It 'popped out' after the doctor squeezed and prodded the area a lot today.?How unbelievably gross is that.?If he hadn't got it out, evenutally it would have come out itself, as a fly!?Yes a fly would have flown out of my skin.?This is possibly the most disgusting experience of my爀ntire life.?And I am very very grateful to the doctor for squeezing and poking my skin and not just prescribing me more antibiotics.?So it wasn't just a sting, no, not just an infected bite, not even an abcess, it was this botfly larvae, growing inside my flesh.
The yellow thing, on the right, well something very like it, something pretty much identical, has been living under my skin, on that little red area I asked you to inspect, for the last 6 weeks or more.?It 'popped out' after the doctor squeezed and prodded the area a lot today.?How unbelievably gross is that.?If he hadn't got it out, evenutally it would have come out itself, as a fly!?Yes a fly would have flown out of my skin.?This is possibly the most disgusting experience of my爀ntire life.?And I am very very grateful to the doctor for squeezing and poking my skin and not just prescribing me more antibiotics.?So it wasn't just a sting, no, not just an infected bite, not even an abcess, it was this botfly larvae, growing inside my flesh.
Halmiltonian
Robert, a whole entry dedicated to the hamiltonian....
...i believe it's merely an operator which when applied to a wave function provides the energy eigenvalues.
Though i do believe with more surety that i got a nine out of twenty in that module. Which to you less mathematically minded is less than half. So i wouldn't listen to anything i say.
...i believe it's merely an operator which when applied to a wave function provides the energy eigenvalues.
Though i do believe with more surety that i got a nine out of twenty in that module. Which to you less mathematically minded is less than half. So i wouldn't listen to anything i say.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Made in China
So all my possessions have come home. I feel sad i didn't bring more of them with me for this pilgrimage to the home land.
Seven years in Tibet
Not really, more like two weeks in Beijing. Yesterday i realised something rather profound. I really don't hate this place.
There are so many many reasons why i should hate this place. I'll give you but i few, because then maybe you'll still come.
It has a smell...not a good one. I can't read anything. I can't speak to anyone. It's freezing, all the lakes are frozen. People push you all day long and your preceived personal space (the amount of room a person needs to breathe, respire, exist etc) is somewhere between minimal and negligible. You can't go fifteen seconds with out hearing someone clearing their throat into their mouth and spitting. You can't walk fifteen feeteen feet without stepping in the same. People smoke everywhere, especially in confined spaces. The concept of a queue is a little more than a utpoian ideal. Everywhere beautiful old buildings are being torn down and sacrificed to the progress god, in anticipation of THE games, 2008.
But i love it. I love the food, i love the energy, i love the noise. There are certain liberties i really value here. The pushing is actually relaxing. There's none of this akward British tension of no one knowing what to do. Or what they should do. I was standing on the tube, completely in the way of a lot of people, because i hadn't noticed, but it was fine. No one scorned me, or even thought bad of me. You can muck up and it doesn't matter. It's relaxing. Also people think i look like David Beckham.
There are so many many reasons why i should hate this place. I'll give you but i few, because then maybe you'll still come.
It has a smell...not a good one. I can't read anything. I can't speak to anyone. It's freezing, all the lakes are frozen. People push you all day long and your preceived personal space (the amount of room a person needs to breathe, respire, exist etc) is somewhere between minimal and negligible. You can't go fifteen seconds with out hearing someone clearing their throat into their mouth and spitting. You can't walk fifteen feeteen feet without stepping in the same. People smoke everywhere, especially in confined spaces. The concept of a queue is a little more than a utpoian ideal. Everywhere beautiful old buildings are being torn down and sacrificed to the progress god, in anticipation of THE games, 2008.
But i love it. I love the food, i love the energy, i love the noise. There are certain liberties i really value here. The pushing is actually relaxing. There's none of this akward British tension of no one knowing what to do. Or what they should do. I was standing on the tube, completely in the way of a lot of people, because i hadn't noticed, but it was fine. No one scorned me, or even thought bad of me. You can muck up and it doesn't matter. It's relaxing. Also people think i look like David Beckham.
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